Three Years

It’s that time of year again. The time of year that marks the start of a new year without my dad by our sides. Three years ago today my daddy took his last breath on this earth. I know that the air he is breathing right now in heaven is SO much better. It’s hard to believe that it’s already been three years. So much has happened, our lives have changed so drastically, and my heart still aches the same. As our family grows, and we are blessed continually beyond belief, I can’t help but know that he is a special part in each and every blessing received. I still have my moments, my days. Just last week a good friend of mine from high school lost her dad. I wish that I couldn’t relate to her, I wish that I could tell her that in time the hurt will heal, I just wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone. It’s all in HIS timing, it’s all in HIS name, and that’s what gets you through each day.

If I could describe my dad in one word it would be strong. He was a strong father figure, a strong leader, a strong competitor, and even up until his last day on earth, he was a strong fighter. He was stubborn and quick tempered, yet so loving and sensitive. He was full of faith, and always learned from his mistakes. He loved to push our buttons, and always got a kick out of aggravating those he loved the most. He was so fun loving. He absolutely loved a good practical joke…and never seemed to care if it would get him in trouble. He loved unconditionally, and never let a day go by in our house without saying I love you to me and my mom. We will forever do the same in our house. He was passionate about life, and always had appreciation for the little things. He gave strong and solid advice. He was just about as impulsive as they come, and I’ve never questioned where I got that from. I miss each and every part of him, the good and the bad. I just love talking about him.

I still struggle daily with why. Why did the Lord choose to take him so soon? I still have vivid flashbacks to that day. I can still remember the faces of random strangers in the waiting room, crying with our family as we received such devastating news. I want to talk about him all the time, but it still seems so unreal to me. It’s still such a delicate subject.

I’ll never forget the days leading up to his passing. It’s amazing to me how God allowed our family special moments together, even though we could never have imagined what was to soon come. Ironically, the day before he became sick, he shot his best round of golf EVER. I’m so thankful for this.

I’m thankful for the childhood that he gave me, the memories that are forever with me, and for the way he blessed the lives of so many. I know that he’s looking down on us with a big smile.

I do know one thing...he would eat this little boy up. He loves him from Heaven, and I can't wait to share that with Eli someday.

"No eye has seen no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him." 1 Corinthians 2:9b